So my mum told me about some show called Jon and Kate Plus Eight. I don’t watch this show, or ever heard of it before. I don’t have cable and I am fortunate enough to not feel the need to watch TV. I did catch about 17 minutes of one episode recently. I don’t know or really care when it the show it happened, and I from what I understand it’s hard to tell anyway as any station that airs the show has it take up 80% of their daytime schedule. One thing I have to say, they are both HORRIBLE parents.

Just look at em.... seriously!
I couldn’t beleive what I was seeing. This “family” better thank their lucky stars every day that not only was this disaster of a show a success, but that these two scumbags were allowed to have kids, nevermind display their lack of skills for the whole word to see. The kids should be taken away from them immediately and they should both be chemically casterated and locked away in solitary confinement for the rest of their natural lives.
The show was like the twisted bastard child of a bad ep of Brady Bunch and a hilarious Jerry Springer, and there were so many product placements I sometimes didn’t the changeover to commericals. Bloody horrid. I don’t see how anyone could stand to be in the same room with either of these two colossal fuckups. Between Harpee (Kate) and Dickless (Jon) I can’t see these kids inheriting any good qualities, unless you count whoring yourself out to the lowest bidder positive. These kids are exploited literally all day every day, and they don’t have a choice. The kids can’t quit, and they were never offered the job. Worse yet, these two monsters have made this fancy life for themselves that they will do anything, and I mean ANYthing to keep and maintain. They’re going to be pushing 60 attending all their kids lesbian weddings and AA meetings, for the whole word to see.
Sort of reminds me when The Comedy Network was playing Mike Bullard literally all day and all night. The only time it wasn’t showing Open Mike was when a new episode being being filmed and aired (on a different station… CN only got the sloppy seconds). They then claimed that Bullard was getting HIGHER RATINGS THAN LETTERMAN. The charts LOOKED like that was the way it went, until you realize that Letterman was on ONCE a day, and the sameĀ Bullard was aired - without exagerating - FIVE TIMES a day, and it was the same damn episode! They also said that Bullard ‘was known for his closers, because that’s when the most people tuned in’. Nono… they “tuned in” at the END, first to prove to themselves that they are in fact not in Hell, and the show actually does end. They also tuned in at the end to see if they are going to repeated the same Bullard episode they JUST FUCKING AVOIDED. They said they scheduled this way because of ‘Canadian content’ laws, like Bullard was the only fucking Canadian on TV. CN tried their very hardest to make Bullard a success, and it failed horrendously. People stopped watching CN because of it. They advertised that his show was cancelled and people starting watching again.
Not too long later, they pulled the same shit with some no-name lesbian comedian’s show. That was worse, because she was somehow even less funny, and there was only like 8 episodes of this other show made. They still kept it on the ‘Bullard Schedule’, meaning it was played almost nonstop. In passing and totally without trying at all, I have seen the same episode more than once just by how often it was played. Why? Because CN was barely worth watching regularly. Barely. The stuff that wasn’t repeated to retarded degrees was good stuff! Simon and Schuster, Honeymooners, classic stuff! Not to mention the absolutely twisted shit that went on in the wee hours of the night, until Bullard had to be played again. I hate Mike Bullard. I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE HIM!

Unfunny bastard. I'm glad you're homeless.
He is not actually homeless. According to his wikipedia page, he is “Currently, he is the host of the TV show HouseCapades, a real estate show depicting the lighter side of selling one’s home.” Tell me he didn’t edit that himself. Seriously….
In the end, who won? ME! I cut all that shit out, and haven’t looked back…. except for remembering it years later and typing it out for you to read. I hope you enjoyed it anyway.